


Sometimes You Just Really Need A Sense Of Humor (And It Shows)

by Most_Likely_Satan



Category: Bleach, Naruto
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi, Other, and tags, but like no worries I'll put the title and author for them all, collection of my smartass comments, every joke is probably gonna be based on some fic, i'll add characters as i go - Freeform, will add more as they come - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:02:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28245126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Most_Likely_Satan/pseuds/Most_Likely_Satan
Summary: Me: Shinji/Ichigo just isn't my thing so I guess I'll skip 😔Me: *reads tag "Aizen is not having a good time :)"*Me: Exceptions must be madeOrHere's a collection of jokes I usually keep to myself
Relationships: Hirako Shinji/Kurosaki Ichigo, The ships will be implied and probably gay but this is a joke fic so, unless I tag them all ships are jokes btw
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	1. Everything So Far

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JKblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JKblue/gifts), [Dream_En](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream_En/gifts).



> Fun fact, while you can probably get through without reading the fics in question hypothetically they're better if you read the fics first. Trust

####  [Life as a Nukenin - JKblue](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22964428)

_I have probably lost a few of these somewhere along the way but here's hypothetically all of the ones from this fic as of chapter 45_

Team seven: "there's no way joining Kakashi's training will be a bite us in the ass".

Kakashi, moderately evil but in a "this is how I show my love because trauma and child soldier reasons": "... Sure"

\--

Team 7: In no way is this a threat, BUT, we have declared it to officially be Time To Fuck Shit Up!!

Everyone else: Why am I hearing boss music

\--

Hiruzen, also waking up in the dead of night, eyes bloodshot, exhaustion seeping into his core: "I am absolutely certain someone Minato, and/or Kushina acquainted just did something I don't want to know about, and yet, will probably be reliably informed of quite soon."

Hiruzen: "I could quit, I could retire, it would be fine, I could do it, the option is right there, I don't have to put up with this... No, I'm already too committed at this point."

\--

Hiruzen, smiling absently, certain he's going to regret this, to team 7: "did Kakashi, tell you directly, to fuck shit up?"

Team seven, in the most suspicious manner possible: ".........................No......"

Team Seven: "*whispers* technically he said it to a tree."

Hiruzen, internally so the kids can keep their allusion of privacy: "God fucking damn it, I knew it."

\--

Hiruzen: *Squints at his other jounin and talks loudly, ya'know the way adults do when they want to make a point that's super passive-aggressive? Yeah, that one* "I can't believe a Missing Nin fills paperwork out better than my own shinobi.

Shinobi Corps: *Sweats and looks away*

\--

Iruka *glaring at the Hokage and his several piles or paperwork*: "Yeah It Sure Would Be Nice If People Did Their Paperwork Correctly And On Time Wouldn't It Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen: *sweats*

\--

Kakashi: "You know who I haven't fucked with yet that was highly responsible for the fucking up of my children?"

The person highly responsible for the fucking up of Kakadhi's children, part 1: *sweats*

\--

Rasa: "so I had an idea of inviting Kakashi over for-" *feels sand near his neck* "uuhmmm Dinner! And w-we could" *watches Kankuro Pointedly drink pure poison and be fine* "um, I'll even eat first I just to make sure it's not poisoned cause I would never want that, and then after I can talk to Kakaalo-alo-" *doesn't see Temari move but its pretty sure he has a new bald patch somewhere on the back of his head"With you guys about a new training regime!! Haha"

\--

Baki *collects money from several Anbu who thought that not only would Kakashi not kidnap the children but that he'd get caught if he did* "I don't know what about that guy seems like he wouldn't do that, like, his whole entire thing is Hmm, How Can I Be A Bitch Today? That's literally his WHOLE personality guys."

\--

Rasa: "I'm gonna traumatize the shit out of my children! On purpose this time!"

Kakashi: "For No Reason At All, I am going to direct my need to help, mother, and adopt children at my favorite of Naruto's friends" *he says in his Now How Can I Inconvenience Everyone At Once voice*

### \--

Kakashi: *exists*

Iruka: "I am genuinely so scared for my life right now

Also, Kakashi: *Vaguely begins to think of jokingly hypothetically in an alternate universe of harming Naruto* "Why do I hear boss music?"

Iruka: *Glares in parent*

[ **Some Guys From A Future - Dream_En** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27075502)

Me: Shinji/Ichigo just isn't my thing so I guess I'll skip 😔

Me: *reads tag "Aizen is not having a good time :)"*

Me: Exceptions must be made


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm still on my bullshit I promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone suggested putting what chapters I meant as well which is fair

[Just Assassin Things - PurpleMoon3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25560766/) Not sure which chapter specifically since Altair, whom I love, is always A Bitch, but hey maybe you'll read this and thank me later who knows

Altair: *exists*

Malik: "I can't actually see the future but, I know he's gonna end up Being A Bitch Forever. I just know it."

Altair: *Exists but within Malik's presence for the first time since he was sent on his murder mission*

Malik: *Currently trying to hide seventeen bodies which shouldn't technically be possible but hey, this is Altair's dramatic ass after all*

Malik, who it should be noted, has one arm: *Dragging the last body into the hay, "At this point I'm certain."

* * *

Ch 47 of [Life as a Nukenin](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22964428)

Iruka, for the second time: "I'm scared."

Kakashi "I have never Not had a death wish" Hatake: 'Hmmm, how should I fuck this guy that probably can and will kill me... Hmm'

Iruka now irritated: "I will kick your ass if you don't cut the shit Konoha shinobi number 247."

* * *

Ch 12 of [Apotheosis - QTCutie (Qtcutie)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17089304)

Kadar: "Don't make a scene."

Altair I-WILL-assassinate-every-target-in-the-most-public-and-slash-or-blatant-way-possible Ibn La'Ahad: "Okay, FIRST of all bitch, I've never made a scene in my life, and second-"

Altair: *Sees Desmond*

Altair: "Ooooooooh, yeah no that's vv fair, I Am known to cause a scene after all."

* * *

~~This fic is NOT for the faint of heart, there is a LOT of dark jokes, and murder, occasionally angst, it's mostly funny but like in a "Haha, intestine poetry, lol, how fucking cool but gross but well thought out a gift" type of funny, not just like, "Haha depression." Although I've yet to see a "Haha, attack helicopter" "joke" ever from them~~

[Sunny Skies Ahead](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20293858) by [Ourliazo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ourliazo/pseuds/Ourliazo) \- Ch 44

Bermuda: *tries to have a sensible conversation, mostly...*

Fucking everybody apparently: *INTENSE CHAOS MODE ACTIVATED*

Bermuda: *yearning for "just this One Time to NOT have to Deal with his associates Bullshit For Fucks Sake Alejandro" and also some hot chocolate*

The Seven, voices slowly getting scarier and scarier: "Death? Slow painful death? Is it slow painful unexpected DEATH THAT YOU ASK FOR? IS THAT WHAT YOU DESIRE?"

Bermuda: "Alright fuck this, TIME-OUT, ALL OF YOU, YES INCLUDING YOU STRONGEST SEVEN!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, but really, Ourliazo is an AMAZING writer, their works are just very VERY dark. Like, horror humor dark. Love them tho

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I just threw in what I'm Pretty Sure is every comment I've actually written out, but I feel like I'm missing at least one more from where.
> 
> Also, lol, if you've read my writing before I hope you remember not to expect fast updates, I'm actually completely rewriting BAH and I still can't write the next chapter of TSHASILYALWYCDWALLT (The teen wolf fic) without skipping seven chapters ahead lmfao


End file.
